HOW TO STOP LIVING IN FEAR AND EMBRACE LIFE

MINDFULNESS TO FACE FEARS AND LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE

Fear is one of the strongest emotions and a natural instinct we are born with. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough – in general, Fear; the emotion, is known to all of us no matter which part of the world or social strata we belong to.

If we let it, fear will keep us trapped in our comfort zones, yearning for fulfilment but never attempting to reach for our dreams. 

But fear also serves an essential purpose. It helps you understand what really matters as you tend to react to only that you truly care about or desire. This understanding can push you to break through the status quo and reach for the life you wish for. 

Learn how to stop living in fear, instead use it to achieve your dreams. 

WHAT IS FEAR?

To face your fear, you first need to understand the psychology of it. 

Acute Fear is a natural reaction when we sense danger – accident, physical harm, heartbreak, pain. Faced with a physical or emotional threat, our brain instantly reacts by sending signals to our nervous system. This causes faster heartbeat, rapid breathing, increased blood pressure and sweating. 

Blood races to our muscles preparing our body for action – fight or flight. 

You have a heightened awareness to protect yourself or others. 

Fear is an instinct inborn to protect us. This is how generations survived in uncertain situations. However, the instinct is triggered before the thinking part of our brain starts working. This is why we startle or feel scared by sudden loud sound or dark spaces before we can process what’s happening. 

Chronic fear or Anxiety Disorder is when worrying feels out of control. You may think about the same things others do but your worrying will be at a whole new level. You imagine worse case scenarios in seemingly normal situations. You cannot seem to turn off your thoughts. In today’s world, we are surrounded by negative news and screaming headlines which also leads to a sense of constant anxiety. Chronic fear keeps us in a sense of dread with heightened insecurities while numbing our brain to reason.

“What will happen…..?”

“How will it happen…?”

“What if something terrible happens if I do this…?”

If this is you, don’t worry. No matter how overwhelming things seem, you can break free from dread – pause, breathe, then use the nervous energy to propel yourself forward. 

ARE YOU LIVING IN FEAR?

Statistics issued by the World Health Organisation in 2019 state that about 301 million people were living with an anxiety disorder or chronic fear, including 38 million children and adolescents. 

Other studies show that the number is twice as high in women than men. This is due to psychosocial differences, traumatic stressors, genetics and neurological factors. 

In 2020, the total number of people living with anxiety disorders grew by about 26% due to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Characterised by excessive fear and worry of everyday normal things or social situations, Chronic fear or Anxiety disorders is present in 1 in 8 people around the world. According to WHO, only about half of the cases of anxiety disorders have been recognised and about one-third get treated properly.

To face your fears, it is important to first put the emotion in perspective. So, if you are living in fear or a sense of dread and worry, constantly imagining worse-case scenarios, know that you are not alone.

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS THAT YOU ARE LIVING IN FEAR?

As you have seen from the statistics, a large population of people live in fear and many go through life without even realising it. That’s because most often taking action to face your fear is replaced with staying safe or comfortable. We settle ourselves in a false sense of security and believe we are living our best life. What we don’t have or cannot do, is not meant to be anyways. This belief starts to hold us back. Here are some signs to recognise that you are living in fear:

Procrastination. I have so many things to do through-out the day and so little time. Am too busy to try that new thing. Will get to it when I have a little time.  

Self-doubt / Certainty of failure: I just cannot do this and am certain something will go wrong anyways. Let’s not try it because I will surely screw it up. 

Resignation to the life you have: Am already living my best life, why struggle to seek more? Wanting more is just being greedy and I should be happy with what I have. 

Dreams are on hold: I will do it someday, am just not ready yet. You haven’t given up on your dreams, just postponed them. 

Excuses / the blame game: You have told yourself that there are many reasons you will fail. Maybe its not because of you but circumstances are just not right yet. You have convinced yourself these thoughts are right. You can never face your fears if you believe the rationale is real. 

Over-preparation: Spending all the time preparing for perfection is simply feeling scared of the outcome. You don’t start so you cannot fail. Trying for perfection is a waste of valuable time that could be spent in action. 

MINDFULNESS TO STOP LIVING IN FEAR

Chronic fear is not a temporary ‘fight or flight’ response to stimuli or feeling – you are living in and with it. It is a constant state of worry that influences everything you do. You find yourself stuck in a cycle of stress and disappointment. 

We live only once – don’t let fear control you. 

When you believe you can and are ready to face your fears, the practice of Mindfulness will help you overcome fear and find peace. 

MINDFULNESS

In contemporary western psychology, as defined by psychologists Jon Kabat-Zinn (2003); Shapiro & Carlson (2009), Mindfulness is the awareness one achieves through intentionally paying attention to one’s moment-to-moment experience, in an accepting and discerning way. Mindfulness involves shifting one’s relationship with experience as opposed modifying the experience itself – a way of training the heart, mind, and body to be fully present with life, relating to all experiences with kindness and openness, whether positive or negative.

While closely associated with meditation techniques or practices, the process of Mindfulness is much more than that. 

It is a state of being – a state or an experience of being present – State Mindfulness. 

A 2015 research supports the idea that increasing State Mindfulness over repeated meditation sessions can translate into a trait or disposition over a period of time and become a fundamental way of being.

What you practice is what you become. 

The three core elements of State Mindfulness or the process of being present, are – Intention, Attention, and Attitude. 

INTENTION: Are you ready to acknowledge that fear is controlling your life? Are you ready to face your fears? Are you ready to stop living in fear and embrace life to the fullest? 

If yes, ask yourself why? Why do you want to stop living in fear? 

Before starting on any path, you should be clear as to your honest intention of doing what you are starting out to do. This is not goal setting or becoming fixed on a specific outcome. It is simply a reflection upon why you want to face your fears, what do you value, what is fundamentally important to you. 

Intention is setting the compass of the heart to the direction we truly want to go. 

“I want to face my fears to be more confident and open to learn new things”

“I want to face my fears to be more comfortable in social settings and be open to new relationships” 

“I want to face my fears to ………. (fill in what you most wish you could do). 

ATTENTION: Feel the fear. Consciously bring your attention to the sensations you feel through-out your body when you think of something you fear or worry about – the rapid heartbeat & breathing, the increased blood pressure, the sweating, the shaking – focus on each sensation running through you. 

Don’t make this stressed or forced attention. Just bring your focus to the energy running through the different parts of your body in as relaxed a manner that you can manage. Pay attention to how the emotion physically feels. Think of this as relaxed observation. 

When thinking of something you fear, Mindfulness requires you to pay ‘relaxed attention’ to every minute detail of your mind and body. 

ATTITUDE: This is key to the Mindfulness practice. 

The way we pay attention – this can be controlling and critical or curious and kind. Our attitude influences the very core of paying attention because what we practice becomes stronger. 

When we pay attention with a critical or judgemental attitude, it reflects in how we become or respond to others. When we pay attention with compassion and acceptance, we strengthen these qualities within us. 

Simply acknowledge and accept that the emotion exists. Acceptance is the first step towards facing your fears, if you set the intention to do so.

Take 5 mins from your day and do the mindfulness steps – Intention, Attention, and Attitude. This can be anywhere – in the office, in the tea break, at home, in the midst of chaos. 

Result: Your intention is clear. Your focus has shifted from fear and worry to your breath. Your attitude has helped you calm down. 

You will now find the strength to move towards your set intention – in the direction of your heart. 

MINDFULNESS BREATHING EXERCISE TO STOP LIVING IN FEAR

This simple exercise will help you with the ‘Attention’ step of Mindfulness. Do not forget ‘Intention’ and ‘Attitude’ while doing this. 

Regularly practicing the 3-step Mindfulness process will change your outlook towards life, help you stop living in fear and fully embrace life. 

Make self care a part of your life. 

CONCLUSION

If you are ready to stop living in fear, you have to set a clear intention in your mind. Decide that the joy of achieving what you fear is more important than your fear of failure. Agree with yourself to face your fears instead of being consumed by it. Pause. Take a breath.

Live your life with the right intention, pay attention to yourself and adopt a more curious, open, accepting, and loving attitude – towards yourself. And see yourself be the best version of yourself.

Are you living in fear? How do you deal with it?