OVERCOME CHALLENGES THAT YOU FACE WITH A GROWTH MINDSET

Life is full of challenges. Some face challenges head-on and some bend and break under pressure. You might say this ability of facing challenges without fear is inherent – some have it, some don’t. 

This is in fact, not true. 

The ability to adapt, overcome, and learn from challenges that you face is a Mindset. 

Everything in your life is perception. How you perceive yourself, your dreams and if you succeed in reaching them depends on your mindset. 

If you believe you were born with certain qualities that cannot change, you will get busy proving this perspective. After all, if you only have a specific personality, certain abilities and intelligence then you better have a good measure of it. So instead of learning and trying a new path, you will keep emphasising these qualities to prove yourself right. 

This is a Fixed Mindset. 

On the other hand, if you believe that your intelligence, abilities, and skills can be developed, you will try to learn from every situation. When faced with a challenge, you will seek out ways to overcome the situation even if it pushes you out of your comfort zone. 

This is a Growth Mindset. 

The terms Fixed and Growth Mindsets were coined by psychologist, Carol Dweck, in her book: Mindset: The Psychology of Success (2006). 

FIXED VS GROWTH MINDSET EXAMPLES

To understand the terms better, let’s look at some examples: 

I am good at this, absolutely not good at that. 

Let’s start here as this reflects your most basic fears – Fear of failure, Fear of not looking good in front of others. When you decide you are not good at something, you never even try . You do not want to embarrass yourself. How do you know if you are good, bad, or unable to learn, when you never try? 

I have never tried this. I may not be good at it but let’s try. Maybe I could learn something new. 

It’s too late, I am too old to learn now. 

This is not just a Fixed Mindset, it is also a cultural and conditioning mindset. You learn things at a certain age. You cannot learn anything when too old. Truth is you are never too old to learn a new skill. The day we stop learning is the day we have given up on ourselves. 

If I don’t know it, I can learn it. Time or place is no matter. If I keep an open mind, life teaches something new every single day. 

Why try, am going to fail anyways. It’s not going to happen. 

Of course, you are going to fail. Even Thomas Edison made 1000 unsuccessful attempts before inventing the light bulb. Imagine failing so many times – it could leave you completely dejected and hopeless. But if you are paying attention, every failure gives you an insight on what does not work until you get it right. Question is: How badly do you want it? 

Failures are opportunities to pause, reassess, understand what went wrong, and try again with new insight. Every failure is an opportunity to take a different approach to solving a problem. 

It’s not feedback, it’s criticism. 

I need external validation. Whatever I do, I wish for people to recognise and appreciate my attempts however, it feels like am being judged and criticised instead. Here’s the thing – everyone has their way of speaking, perceiving, critiquing or criticising. Words can be said and received differently.

Going back to the question of ‘how badly do you want it?’- is people’s recognition bigger than what you want? 

Every feedback or critique gives me food for thought, to find a new way of solving the problem. There is value in every feedback but not all words are to be taken to heart. 

I always struggle with ……

This goes hand in hand with ‘I am not good at this’. I struggle with something and know it’s going to be difficult so best to avoid it. Belief forms your actions. What you believe about yourself repeatedly, becomes your reality; it may be your perceived limitations, shortcomings or enormity of challenges. 

This may take effort but I will try. It may be tough but I will get through it. 

I feel small and overwhelmed by other’s success.

When I see someone do better than me, or achieve what I think I can only dream of, am envious and even jealous. I see their successes as something I can never achieve but always wish for. This makes me feel inadequate and impacts even things am actually good at. 

When I see other’s succeed, I try to learn what they did differently. I appreciate their success but neither get too overwhelmed nor intimidated by it. Other’s journey is not mine but I can always learn from their story. 

I can’t change the situation, it is what it is….

The universal truth is that ‘change is the only constant’. If you think there is nothing you can do to improve a situation, you will never find the way. If, when going through dark times, your natural reaction is that bad things happen to you and you cannot change it, you have a Fixed mindset. If no one ever thought that things can be better and tried for it, progress would cease. 

If am not feeling good about the situation, it needs to change. What can I do to better the outcome? Is there a way to move forward? 

My current abilities define my outcomes. 

This thought emphasises the thinking, ‘either am born with it or not’. Well, if we were born with all skills, abilities, or limitations, we would be super humans or losers, at birth. This thinking would mean that we never learn anything in our entire lives – does this sound possible? 

The brain is a muscle – the more you train it, the more strengthened and active it becomes. 

I learn, apply, and influence or change outcomes. My handwork, efforts, and conviction, determine the end-result. 

“I know everything, already…..”

There are so many cultural or ageist nuances to this statement. In a patriarchal society, men are always the head of families or society so they are expected to be authorities on many subjects. This gets into the psyche. Men think they are experts and women expect men to know all while feeling inadequate themselves. Also, if you are older, you want to maintain your respect by forcing the point that ‘you know everything’. 

So you get into the cycle of ‘fake it but never really make it’.

Ask yourself, who is this helping exactly? Neither are you learning nor are you able to teach!

Things change constantly. Leaning is my lifelong pursuit. I enjoy learning from anyone and anything. 

Everyone always tells me I can’t…..

This is especially true for kids. When the young brain is constantly told they cannot do something, they believe and get conditioned that they really cannot and stop attempting. Thereby, stop growing. 

What you believe, you become. 

Even I don’t know what am capable of then how can others know that better than me. Only making the attempt, learning, applying, and re-trying will help me understand my own true potential. 

These were just 10 Fixed and Growth Mindset examples to understand how the mind controls attitude. But even if you may recognise them, how do you change a Fixed Mindset? 

A 5-STEP PLAN TO OVERCOME CHALLENGES WITH A GROWTH MINDSET  

In a TED Talk, psychologist Carol Dweck describes, “two ways to think about a problem that’s slightly too hard for you to solve”: 

• “I am not smart enough to solve it”
• “I have just not solved it yet”

Speaking about the pressure we put our kids under and the resulting conditioning, Dweck says:

I heard about a high school in Chicago where students had to pass a certain number of courses to graduate, and if they didn’t pass a course, they got the grade “Not Yet.” And I thought that was fantastic, because if you get a failing grade, you think, I’m nothing, I’m nowhere. But if you get the grade “Not Yet” you understand that you’re on a learning curve. It gives you a path into the future.

This is a great approach as you are appreciating the process kids follow, instead of the end-result. You are telling them that they can change the outcomes by working on their process. You help cultivate a Growth Mindset that kids will apply to life’s challenges. 

This approach applies to all challenges that you face in life. Let’s change our ‘Cannot’ to ‘Not Yet’ and focus on the process. And see how the outcomes change. 

The Mindfulness Way…..

Bring the Intention, Attention, Attitude, Mindfulness practice to the process of shifting attitude and mindset.

Accept & Let Go.

Accept life as it is in the present moment. No matter what or how many challenges that you face, look at each of them as opportunities for growth. Even if you list down your problems and it fills a page, see them as that many ways you can learn and grow. Then challenges will stop hurting or stressing you emotionally. 

Accept yourself with all the good and the flaws. You may have limiting thoughts about your abilities, depressed about how you handled certain things or maybe there are others to blame – tell yourself you are worthy of learning from each experience and growing. You are much more than your mistakes and no one can take that away from you. Forgive yourself and everyone else – forgiveness has great healing power. Know that nothing is more important than your actions in the present moment. 

Let go. Let go of your stresses, fears, or frustration towards external things. Holding on to these feelings only keeps you in a cycle of negativity. What happened has already gone. What matters is what you choose to do now. 

How to let go. Choose a method of Meditation that suits you best and carve out some time to meditate everyday. Meditation helps calm restless thoughts so you are able to make better choices. 

Observe & Decide.

If you make Meditation a part of your daily routine, observing your thoughts becomes easier. Meditation helps you calm the emotions and just start looking at the facts of a situation. You can then analyse problems more effectively, decide on the best course of action and create an action plan.

Face your Fears and Take Action.

Tackling problems or changing a mindset requires you to be brave enough to recognise and acknowledge your fears. Awareness and acceptance are the first two steps in facing your fears. Constantly avoiding your fears keeps you in a cycle of discontent and despair. 

Stop living in fear and embrace life instead. Know that you are not alone. Everyone has fears but courage is choosing to walk forward even when fear is trying to hold you back. 

Take action. This is where most falter or get stuck but it is an extremely important step. Your awareness and understanding is incomplete without action. Once you know your fears, have analysed the problem objectively, decided on a course of action, ACT.  

Practice Gratitude.

Learn to be grateful of the challenges that you face as each one of them teaches you something and makes you stronger. While you observe your fears and stresses, list down all the good things in your life and be truly grateful for each. This will change your mindset from ‘so bad’ to ‘not so bad after all’.

Be Kind to Yourself.

You are worth it. You are much more than your perceived limitations, beliefs and mindset. If you can think it, you can become it. But know that you cannot achieve perfection because perfect does not exist. Stop trying to be perfect – your efforts matter and validation is not out there but in what you believe about yourself. 

Stop wasting time proving what you believe you are when you can be so much better.

What is the biggest challenge that you have faced and how did you deal with it? 

If you have a story to share, Submit here.